Hi guys, I hope you’re all having a great weekend. This has really been on my mind this past month or so. I want to write a quickie about missing someone who is no longer in your life, you outgrew, or let go. We will all experience this at least a few times in our lives. I’ve experienced it twice, within the last three years.
One was a 10 year long best friend, who was more like a sister. The other way a on and off best friend of 5 years, who I shared so many unforgettable experiences with. I have learned so much from both of those relationships, I now look at them with a completely unbiased opinion. There are always two sides to every story, two perspectives, two realities. From my view point, I remember feeling shrunk by both of them. I couldn’t be my authentic self, share my absolute wildest dreams, and fears with security. I felt that their intentions were not pure. Honestly there were times where they proved that to be true.
At the time I didn’t know this was my intuition. It so clearly was God and the Universe guiding me to see certain things in people they mask to others, their true self and intentions. Along with uncomfortable situations, for their benefit. Pay attention to the people you are surrounding yourself with. If every time you do anything with them and the worst outcome that could possibly happen, happens. Take a step back. That is God showing you that these people don’t have your best interest.
By no means am I saying these girls are bad people, I loved them whole heartedly that I even sacrificed my own happiness for years. I would give give give until I had nothing left, until I completely lost myself. Where I was so weak I couldn’t even give them an explanation? How sad. Shame on me. I couldn’t believe I let myself get there, I didn’t know who I was, I didn’t have up those boundaries and standards to keep me afloat.
Those people are not toxic, they had toxic behaviors and intentions. The thing is I don’t think they even realized what they did. Because if you don’t communicate and tell someone what you don’t like. They will never know. You can’t expect people to read your mind and just “know”. I mean how many times have you unknowingly hurt someone’s feelings? It happens, we make mistakes. I am not perfect by any means, I was lying to myself for a very long time. (This was 3 years ago, I have since grown and thought about this for many years. I no longer have issues communicating. Which is why we go through these things. To learn.)
When God removes people from your life, you have to trust it. Do not ever go back, no matter how much you miss them, or the good times. We forget what it was actually like in that point in time, there was a breaking point where you couldn’t take it any longer. Remember that. Don’t go back to that. You’re smarter, wiser, and happier now. Don’t let them dim your shine.
To the close friends I once had, I’m not sure if you will ever see this although if you do.. you knew my dreams and that this was one of them. I hope you are happy, I am rooting for you from afar. I don’t take anything personally, and hope this gave you some clarity. I hope you forgive me as well. I am sorry that I hurt you. Even though we thought we’d be each other’s brides maids or traveling the world together. It just wasn’t meant to be. We both had to learn these lessons the hard way. I will always love and care for the both of you. Maybe one day I will hear from you, but for now it’s best to leave things in the past.
I hope this post helps someone, anyone know that you are not alone. Losing friends or any relationship is not easy it hurts. I am still healing from this and it’s going on 3 years. It takes time but God will remove people from your life to make room for genuine people aligned with your purpose.
Whenever you may read this, enjoy your life and live with no attachments. Spread pure love xx