Hello hunnies! It’s Friday night, I’m freshly showered with a candle lit and hair wrapped in towel. There’s something so therapeutic about showering, just imagine all your anxiety and stress built up from the day washing down the drain.. I also come up with great topics to write about while I’m at it!
Over the last two years I haven’t been as present on social media as I’d like to be. As I embarked on this spiritual journey, never did I expect to change as drastically as I did. Especially in such a short time frame, I learned that you need to give yourself time.
I was constantly obsessing over this idea of myself at my absolute best. Which is okay, we’re all striving to be our highest self. Although it got the point where I was procrastinating out of fear, instead of accepting myself where I am and actually do what I want. I would tell myself “Once I look like this” or “make this amount money” or “travel here and there” then I’ll be happy, successful, have great friends, wealth, and confidence. I was putting this idea of myself on a pedestal so high that I was unable to reach it. I had to take a step back and ask myself “Do I really want this or am I trying to fill a void?” I realized it was my ego, I wanted to feel accepted. I mean who wouldn’t want some more Instagram followers, a feed that synchronizes, and a tribe full of girl bosses. It’s OKAY to want those things!
Although, if you’re coming from a place to feed your ego you will never be fulfilled. You have to detach from your ego, and only do things that genuinely resonate with you. If you aren’t naturally intuitive, this may be harder for you at first, I believe we all have gifts and are able to tap into them as long as we’re willing to let go. Listen to your body, your frequency, and spirit. Spirit is always guiding you. Through synchronicity, people, experiences, symbolism, numbers, and even deja vu.
Three years ago when I graduated high school I was a completely different person. People who new me then didn’t “actually” know the real me. I was so insecure, influenced by others, and wanted to be accepted so deeply that I shrunk myself. I couldn’t get vulnerable with people, even if I did open up I couldn’t help but feel judged by my own friends. People thought I was nothing more than a pretty face and was made fun of for not being smart enough. I think I dumbed myself down as a defense mechanism to avoid confrontation, I also don’t think those people were aware of the impact of their “jokes.” Which is why after high school something switched in me. Friendships I had for years no longer fulfilled me, but drained me. I knew I needed to make a change, I decided to read a book. Simple I know, but for someone who swore they hated to read it was a major step and also a turning point in my life. It took me about a week I’ll never forget it was “You’re a Badass” by Jen Sincero. I never had a mentor growing up, so after reading this I felt liberated and was ready to take action.
Within those next few months I slowly distanced and removed people from my life who did not have my best interest to say the least. Which meant breaking up with my high school boyfriend and 10 year long childhood best friend. Those two were the hardest to let go, they were my comfort zone. I have no hard feelings towards anyone who used to be in my life, and wish nothing but the absolute BEST for them. So obviously we were young and have both made mistakes, it takes two to tango baby. Although.. I wont go too much into it but there was a lot of disrespect and manipulation in those relationships that I let stay around for way too long. I wasn’t strong enough at the time to confront them face to face and explain how they’ve hurt me. Instead I gave no explanation other than I need time for myself, it’s been years since I heard from them. I’ve moved on and forgave them a long time ago, I’m not saying they’re bad people but we we’re just toxic for one another and on two completely different wave lengths. I did that to spare their feelings, I was always too selfless and worried about what others thought instead of putting up those boundaries and standing up for myself. I forgave myself and them for that, sometimes you don’t need a reaction or explanation. Now I would never let that fly I have too much respect for myself to not speak up. I’ve become so picky over the years on who I allow in my circle and I’m proud of it!
Looking back now that was one of the toughest times of my life, and I was dealing with it alone. Which leads me to disconnecting from social media, and even certain people for a while. You gain clarity in all aspects of your life. I think many of us have gotten caught up doing more things for the “gram” than doing things we actually enjoy. We post our best self online, it’s all an illusion. Don’t get me wrong there are so many influential people using the platform for good to inspire and lift each other up as much as there are people trying to one up each other. We constantly compare our lives to strangers online, how does it make sense to compare your whole story to someone’s highlights. It leads to feeling down upon yourself, comparison ruins confidence. There is only one YOU, so do whatever the hell you want without hesitation! There’s nothing more attractive than a woman who knows what she deserves, who goes out there and gets it her own damn self. So don’t worry about all the minor things, everything falls into place when you live your truth.
My goal is to build my social media following by empowering strong women to follow their dreams and reach their full potential by connecting through vulnerability. I realized I was doing a disservice to women around the world by not following my passion of helping and inspiring others. It’s amazing we live in a generation that we can connect with like minded people all around the world in a matter of seconds. I’m grateful everyday for it, but always remember to take some breathers here and there. You’re on your own timeline and path, there is no race. Do what makes YOU happy and spread pure love!